An Open Letter to the American University Board of Trustees

Re: Ben Ladner's severence package (a.k.a. the platnum parachute)

Dear Board Members (or what's left of you):

Your recent decision to award former AU President Ben Ladner a severence package in excess of $3 million dollars has left students, professors and alumni outraged. While it appears that your decision will stand, I would like to offer a simple suggestion which I feel will ease some of the bitterness on behalf of all parties involved.

I propose that you pay Ladner in the true currency of American University, EagleBucks. While Ladner was busy travelling abroad and hosting lavish dinner parties at AU's expense; I feel that he may have missed out on some delicious food and good times at the Terrace Dining Hall. Providing him with $3 million worth of EagleBucks will surely allow him to catch up on all he's missed on campus in the last 11 years.

As a recent graduate of AU's Kogod School of Business, I can assure you that this proposal makes sound fiscal sense. The money paid to Ladner will be reinvested in the AU community in the form of Jamba Juice smoothies; Subway Sandwiches; AU bookstore merchandise and many other on-campus venues. It will also benefit the local economy, as many stores in the surrounding Tenleytown area have agreed to accept Eaglebucks.

In fact, I would like to help the board implement this solution. I am hereby offering my expert consulting services, which I will provide to you at a bare minimum of expense. I only ask that you allow me to draft the terms of our agreement. I'm not very experienced at writing documents of this nature, but i'm sure that I could use Ladner's renegotiated contract as a blueprint.

I will eagerly await your response.

Kind Regards,
Chrissy- Class of '05
"Once an Eagle, always an eagle..."