Do You Have the Bandwidth?

One of the things I thought I would miss most about college was the opportunity to study foreign languages, but i've discovered that navigating the literary landscape of office meetings can be just as difficult as trying to conjugate a word into the subjunctive.

I honestly try not to look completley stupified during these verbal exchanges, but sometimes I just don't know how to respond. Here are my two recent favorites:

1) Do you have the bandwidth?
Ok, when I think about bandwidth I think of 8th grade science class and learning about frequencies and waves and measurments of tiny increments like hertz. I feel like responding "Well yes, I do have the bandwidth....but what's the frequency Kenneth?"

note to self: When mgmt. asks if you have the bandwidth, respond yes and watch as the paperwork piles up on your desk. It means you have agreed to do something that someone else totally bailed on.

2) Can you provide me with a straw-man?
This question was posed to me right around Halloween, so I was certain that I was being asked to decorate the office for the season. This was not the case. I'm glad that I didn't run out and purchase a bail of hay and start stuffing some old clothes.

note to self: a straw-man is a proposal that's in its informal beginning stages. A "rough-draft" if you will.

I wonder if Texas Instruments makes an electronic translator for office lingo...