Brick NJ - Safest City in America

Growing up, I spent every summer in Brick NJ. My parents retired there after I graduated from highschool. The land that their house stands on has been in my family since the 1940's. So basically, my grandparents spent their summers there, my parents spent their summers there (and actually met there)...I spent my summers there. {Yes, you can start humming the Andy Griffith Show theme song in your head now}.

I discovered this morning that it's more like Andy Griffith's Mayberry than I thought. Brick has been voted the #1 safest city in the United States. That's right people, the #1 safest city is in New Jersey - parkway exit 88, bitches!

According to the article, the rankings are based on FBI statistics that were released in June. I've got my own theories about why Brick has been ranked #1 among safest cities. Here are a couple of the contributing factors:

1) The Geriatric Effect: Not unlike Florida - old people in NJ go to Brick to...ahem...die. I'm being dead serious here (pun intended). There are more retirement villages in Brick, per capita than in any other city i've been too (excluding Florida, of course). Here's an example of one such "Active Adult Community" - Leisure Village.

2) The Cop Factor: Brick is crawling with cops. It seems that everyone who graduated from Brick High and never got out of town became a cop. Who wouldn't want to be a cop in Brick?! The old people aren't kicking up much of a fuss; it's close to the beach; and if all your friends are cops, why not join the party?!

3) "The Godfather" Factor: Sometimes a bunch of huge bodyguard looking types buy a house down the street from you. And sometimes those big guys drive really nice cars and work odd hours. And sometimes those guys want to fly under the radar and blend in like everyone else so they obey the speed limit, pick up after their dogs, and generally make fantastic neighbors. Their silent presence is enough to maintain order in the neighborhood - nobody in their right minds is going to mess with them or their neighbors (who are mostly cops). As long as everyone minds their business - nobody gets hurt.

Now that's something you won't find in the FBI reports.

"Travelling down the Turnpike, heading for the shore, a thought just then occured to me I never thought before. I've been a lot of places, seen pictures of the rest, but of all the places I can think of, I like Jersey best."
-John Pizarelli

And There's Always Retrospect to Light a Clearer Path...

...every five years or so I take a look back on my life and I have a good laugh...

Ticket to class reunion (open bar): $25.00
Filling up the Jeep en route: $32.00
Tolls paid: $10.00
Ticket issued by Princeton PD for illegal turn: $85.00 (d'oh!)
Seeing what's become of your graduating class: Priceless

That's right - I attended my five year class reunion this weekend. It seems that the concensus among my older friends is that not much changes in the 5 years between highschool and college graduation and that it's the 10 year reunion where the shit show is in full force. I suppose I agree for the most part. Some people had "filled out," others were rockin' the Skeletor look, nobody was bald yet - although I can already tell who's on their way to the comb over...

I guess the real point of the weekend (other than the alumni association pitching us to donate the moths from our pockets) was to reconcile what has changed with what remains the same. The open bar as social lubricant really helped the situation, I feel! Honestly, I went for two reasons 1) Shear morbid curiosity at the thought of how people's lives had changed 2) To reconnect with the friends I had in highschool whom I don't keep as good of touch with as I really should.

I think the best part about going back was that i'm comfortable with who I am and what i've done with myself over the past five years. I think my friend Katie put it best by saying: "I'm a better version of the person that I was back in highschool." I hope the same holds true for me.

Other entertaining moments included realizing that the last time I drank with all these kids, we were in some backyard or field somewhere - totally underaged and spooked that the cops were going to show up (which they always did). I never got in trouble with the cops in highschool - nope, I had to go back to my reunion to get pulled over for making an illegal right on red (believe me, it could have been worse).

I guess if this is supposed to be some kind of mile marker in life, i'm feeling pretty good about things, maybe i'm on the right track.

We'd Only Just Begun...

I knew that my iPod was important to me...I just didn't know it was that important. I feared the day would come; when I would wake to find my car busted into, my center console broken open...and my iPod gone.

I hope you're happy iPod stealer/car breaker inner person. You weren't satisfied with my video iPod and $100 metro farecard...nope. You had to go and take the $1.64 in loose change out of my cup holder too. Now I have no music, no metro card...and no change to pay for the parking meter.

I really hope you like my selection of music. I think you'll especially enjoy the KEXP podcasts...they were my favorite, or perhaps you're more of a Justin Timberlake "Sexy Back" fan. Yeah, i've got that on there too.

Enjoy you f-ing bastard....enjoy.