Finally, A Fantasy League I Can Hang With

I'll be the first one to admit, when it comes to making picks for fantasy sports teams...I downright suck. While friends and coworkers are chatting about their team pics and generally talking trash at the water cooler, I never really know what to say. Of course, it may stem from the fact that I don't really watch any professional sports. I like to catch a rugby match when it's on Fox Sports World - at least I can yell at the TV and know what i'm talking about (most of the time) when it comes to rugby...anything else is beyond me.

I thought I would be missing out on all the fantasy league histeria, that is - until a friend and fellow blogger, Catch Up Lady, tipped me off to....wait for it...a celebrity fantasy league!

It's like fantasy sports but instead of points being scored for homeruns and touchdowns they're scored for divorces, catfights and nose jobs!

Now this is something I can get into - trainwrecked celebrities are my guilty pleasure. Finally, years of reading trashy grocery store magazines, celebrity blogs and watching E! are going to pay off!

Fafarazzi.com works just like any fantasy sports league. You can play in a public league, or a private one among your friends - make your picks for the season - and watch as the celebrity smack downs unfold. Quite simply, it's taking over my life.

The site is also appealing to bloggers, here's why - apparently Ryan Seacrest works around the clock. I mean, start flipping the channels and he's bound to be on one or two at least. So, the only time he stops to take a quick break is when he checks his Google Alerts....for himself. That's right, he actually checks his alerts to see if any news stories have popped up about him. So Fafarazzi, in an effort to capitalize on this and their growing popularity is asking bloggers to go viral and spread the word about Seacrest and Fafarazzi in hopes that he'll mention it on one of his 10 Billion TV appearances.

Pretty brilliant if you ask me. Will celebs start doing crazy shit for the Fafarazzi points? We'll never know unless they know, so spread the word! Oh, and if you want to get in on my fantasy celeb league, let me know. Suri Cruise has to surface one of these days - i've got my money on a media shit storm when it happens!

18 Years Later, I Still Remember

L2 Green. If you forget everything you learn on the first day of kindergarten, for the love of god - don't forget to get on the L2 Green bus.

I didn't forget. It's 18 years later and I can still remember the bus I was supposed to board to get home from my first day of school. I was reminded of this fact after reading a WaPo article about a little boy who got on the wrong bus home when he was supposed to go to after care. Why do I remember this little nugget of childhood info? Because I was mortified that I would get lost on the way home and end up at some strangers house - a stranger who wouldn't have Teddy Grahams or a nice little snack waiting for me...

Or maybe it was the fact that if I had boarded the wrong bus, my parents would never let me hear the end of it. They wouldn't have blamed it on the school system, or the bus driver, or the after care program...they would have blamed it on me and who wants to be a complete failure on their first day of school?

Either way, that's a tough lesson to learn 'lil buddy. Better luck this afternoon.

Dinner at Hank's

I have this mental block where i'll drive past a restaurant in DC and think to myself "Oh! I'd really like to try that!" Then a week goes by and a friend asks me to pick a place for dinner and i'm like a deer in headlights. My mind goes blank - the only thing I can think of is Ollie's Trolley or Ben's Chili Bowl.

DC's recent restaurant week reminded me of many of the restaurants that i've wanted to try, but blanked on when the time came to get up and go. I was fortunate enough to be able to snag reservations at Georgetown's Filomena with two of my friends. I thought the meal was excellent, and I was happy with the Restaurant Week items they served. I'll admit, Filomena wasn't my first choice; looking through the Restaurant Week participants, I really wanted to try out Dupont's Hanks Oyster Bar.

After reading a couple of online reviews, it sounded like Hank's was more of a neighborhood spot, catering to a need for a nice(er) dining establishment than those in the immediate area. Honestly, I love seafood - especially oysters, so I was dead set on remembering Hank's the next time the dinner bell rang.

My friend Maria offered to take me out to dinner in exchange for helping her pick her car up from the mechanic - a dinner at Hank's in exchange for a half hour detour on my way home from work...good deal in my book. We headed over to Dupont in the midst of the tail end of rush hour, which means traffic...and parking nightmares. After circling the area for about 15 minutes, we finally located the perfect spot (the hunt for parking would later offer some prime dining entertainment...more on that later).

At first glance, Hank's looked exactly as it had been described - a little neighborhood spot, sandwiched next to a pizza place right off 16th Street. Restuarant reviews had warned of wait times because of the limited seating at Hank's, but we were lucky enough to snag a curbside table right away. Although Hank's has been open since mid-May, we had a couple people stroll by who had never seen the restaurant and since we were sitting by the entrance, we were asked what we thought about our meals which I found quaint rather than annoying.

I had the oyster po' boy which came with a side of fresh coleslaw and Maria had the lobster roll with fries. We agreed that both were pretty good...although not amazing. The waitstaff was attentive, consistently refilling our drinks and checking on "us." I say "us" because our waitress would not make eye contact with me or address me at all throughout our meal. This bothered me. A lot. All inquiries were directed at Maria, which I didn't notice until she pointed it out. Maybe she thought Maria was my interpreter? Maybe looking at me directly would cause the waitress to implode? I just don't know...

So while I was being ignored I passed the time by watching three seperate cars attempt to squeeze into a spot right in front of the restaurant and listened to the hilarious commentary of my fellow diners as car after car failed to get into the space. This was the highlight of the evening. Finally, a BMW got it after three tries and everyone outside cheered. Hooray for knowing how to park when you live in a freaking city...

Hank's doesn't have a desert menu which was a little dissapointing, although the waitress was nice enough to suggest that Maria take advantage of the warm evening and enjoy some ice cream in the neighborhood. Had I asked, she probably would have suggested that I walk off a cliff or maybe she would just continue to ignore me.

Would I go back to Hank's? Eh, I wasn't dazzled - I had real high hopes going in...maybe that was the problem. But hey, they're a pretty recent addition to the restaurant scene so maybe they'll figure it out in time. I'm optimistic.

This Magazine Smells Like...

I've been dogsitting for two friends who are out of town this week and enjoying the little things that come with staying alone at someones else's house - you know... raiding the fridge, watching DVD's I don't own, accidentally setting the security system off. Good Times.

While I was picking up the mail, I noticed the new Rolling Stone magazine in the pile. Score! Although i'm a big fan of Rolling Stone, I never bothered to get my own subscription (hint: Christmas gift idea), so I was psyched to have it all to myself. I grabbed a Corona and a jar of pickles (this is why I don't live alone) and began flipping through the articles.

About halfway through the magazine, I saw an ad for the second season of Showtime's series "Weeds." The ad made me stop for two reasons 1) My friends left me the box set of season one to watch while they're away and 2) The advertisement smelled like weed.

At first, I thought that maybe it was my mind playing tricks on my senses - that I was imagining the smell, but off the the right side of the ad is a little scent strip like they have for fragrances. I think this is pure genius. The ad for "Weeds" is weed scented...the snozberies taste like snozberies!

According to MediaBuyerPlanner.com:
"The Showtime campaign also includes ice cream trucks that will visit concerts and other events. The trucks are dubbed Weeds Munchie Mobiles and they'll be giving out Weeds merchandise in six cities. Street vendors will also hand out coffee in Weeds cups."

I wonder which lucky six cities the Munchie Mobiles will be visiting. I have a sneaking suspicion that D.C. won't make the list, but if you happen to see the Mystery Machine -Munchie Mobile, please let me know.

Dorm Life 101

The Washington Post's Home & Garden section is running a story on the "Prerequisites for College Life" based on the fact that DC is about to get flooded with bright eyed freshmen who have no idea what to bring with them to survive DC dorm life.

The suggestions in the article are useful and ones that I should have at least thought about before I packed so much crap in my dad's car that there was no room for my mom to drive down to DC with us. Yeah, I still feel pretty bad about that one...but that's what you get when you start throwing things into boxes the night before you're supposed to arrive.

My move in experience was a little different than most. Being the youngest of eight kids, my dad had been through this before and knew exactly how to handle the situation. He pulled up in front of my dorm, opened the trunk for me, then leaned against the car and lit a cigar while I hauled boxes down a flight of stairs to my new "terrace" room (a.k.a. basement dungeon). The other dads who were running around carrying boxes for their daughters saw this, and although they continued hauling crap - you could tell they were impressed by my dads control of the situtation.

After all the boxes were unloaded, my dad came down to peek his head into my new dungeon. He actually shook his head and laughed at the sight of three beds (one set of bunk beds and one loft) crammed into a room that was clearly only meant for two people (as evidenced by the fact that there were only two dressers and two closets) - Welcome to college.

We went and got a cheeseburger at McDonald's (my last supper of parental control) and with these words, he left me on my own: "I'll see you at graduation."

If you're like I was, and basically left to your own devices once mommy and daddy drive away then you need to be smarter about the choices you make. I didn't have the money to spend on a nice comforter for my bed or the tapestries to hang from my ceiling. I needed the little money I had saved up from earlier that summer to pay for text books.

Surviving that first year on a limited budget can be tough, but it's pretty easy to pick up little tricks along the way. For one thing, I was blessed with a roomate whose mom lived in the area and would stop by with all sorts of stuff for us. She sort of took us under her wing, and anything we were really lacking would magically appear the next time she came to visit - little crap like forks for our raman noodles, etc. If you're heading to college, pray that you have similar luck in the roomate department, but don't bet on it.

First semester, you're usually required to have a meal plan which may or may not be appealing to you. The great thing is that it means you probably won't starve; the bad thing is that you actually have to haul your butt over to the dining hall in the rain, sleet, snow...terrorist threats. You also can't be sure that once you get to the dining hall they're actually going to have something that you want to eat. So here's what you do - whenever you go to the dining hall, bring a couple of ziplock bags with you. Load them up with things that you know you like to eat for those times when you don't want to leave your room or the dining hall is closed.

Don't feel guilty - are you aware of how much they're charging you for those meal plans? And making it mandatory is ridiculous because they usually require you to buy into one of the more expensive options. Take things as much as you can from the dining hall, trust me. I ended up with over 50 extra meals on my dining card at the end of the semester...I almost rounded up the homeless outside of Union Station to treat them to a meal.

If you're dorm room actually has room for a couch or loveseat - don't run out to Ikea and waste your money. "Borrow" one from the lounge and then return it at the end of the semester. Make sure you return it or else they'll try to charge everyone on the floor for "damages" and make sure that your R.A. doesn't come in and spot it. I found that a blanket covered it up nicely.

This next tip is the mother of all tips - if you skipped everything in this post DON'T SKIP THIS! School shopping doesn't end once the semester is in full swing, oh no! The best time to "shop" is at the end of the school year when everyone is leaving to go back home for the summer. I stayed in DC after my freshman year (remember my dad said he'd see me at graduation? Yeah, he meant it). This will only work if your school has a large population of foreign students. In my case, there was not only a large international student population, but there was a specific dorm that almost all of them lived in.

What you need to do is get yourself a shopping cart (college students are notorious for "borrowing" shopping carts...i'm sure you'll find one nearby) and take it to the dorm with the highest population of foreign kids. Make sure that you do this the day that everyone is moving out for the summer. The premise is that the international students end up purchasing nice items (TV's, fridges, stereos, etc.) that they can't take back home on the plane with them and that they don't care enough to ship home. So they end up just leaving it in their abandoned rooms, or putting it out in the hallway. This is when you wheel you cart up and claim your loot. If they're still in the room when you're collecting your goods, you can ask them if they're going to toss it, but if it looks like the coast is clear, it's all yours!

This is how I survived my freshman year of college - without ever setting foot in Ikea or Bed, Bath and Beyond. Hope it helps kiddies - and good luck!

Alcohol + Oddity...What Could Be Better?

Shout out to the Washington Post Express for including this post in their blog log.

This past Saturday I headed over to Showbar's Palace of Wonders for the first time since their July opening. After reading about sword swallowing bartenders and various displays of oddities mixed in with the occult - I was anxious to see if it was everything I had imagined and most importantly, I wanted to see if it was as much of a departure from the DC bar scene as I had hoped.

As far as it living up to everything I had imagined from reading earlier reviews, I wasn't dissapointed with the decor or the feel of the bar. The staff seemed friendly, although not overly so (which is nice - I like my bartenders good and surly). There was plenty going on, which included sword swallowing and tarot card readings, but the nice part was that these things didn't get in the way if you were just there to have a couple beers with your friends - it's not like they were forcing a show on anyone and the tarot readings were tucked into a quiet corner which was great for a private reading (I was impressed with the tarot card reading - not just because I have a good future ahead of me...wink wink...but because you could tell the man doing the readings really enjoyed what he was doing...and that was nice).

It's going to be interesting to see how the H Street corridor develops and to see what clientele will frequent the bars that have already or will soon open their doors. The cops were out in full force Saturday night - my friends and I witnessed two police cars pull over a woman, and was then joined by a motorcycle cop (we didn't get the scoop on what the offense was). While in the bar, a cop entered and seemed to follow a group of girls who made a bee line for the "smoking deck" and down a flight of stairs. Not sure if they were underaged or in trouble, but the cop paused to give the bars cat (yes, there's a kitty that hangs out at the bar) some love.

The bar was relatively empty until around 11:00pm when the cabs started rolling up and dumping out what appeared to be M Street transplants. My friends (who bought a house in the neighborhood about a year ago) and I sat staring as these girls were exiting cabs flinging their huge purses around and generally drawing a lot of attention to themselves. Now look - I could launch into a whole discussion about gentrification and the changing face of the H Street corridor, but i'm going to leave that to DCist. What I will say is this - ladies, have some freaking common sense! I don't care if you're in Anacostia or Georgetown, you don't stand in the middle of the sidewalk digging through your purse, taking wads of cash, iPods and various other treasures out in order to find your I.D. I'm not a criminal, but for a fleeting moment, even I wanted to wack you on the head and take your shit - if for no other reason than to teach you a lesson.

Final note - there's no kitchen at The Palace of Wonders, so if you need to line your stomach after a couple of beers there is a great take out place across the street. I recommend the three piece chicken plate with french fries - amazing. Oh, and I just checked their website - turns out there's a Female Arm Wrestling Night on Tuesday's. Now that's a show I would pay to see!

Get Rich Quick! No Experience Necessary!

When i'm scrolling through my Google search results, I like to take a look at the sponsored links section on the right hand side of the page, mostly out of curiosity to see what keywords inspire certain ads to appear. Recently, i've been noticing that many of the links are for "get rich quick" schemes or so called business opportunities. You may have also noticed similar ads if you've scrolled through the job classified's on Craigslist.

I have an odd fascination with these websites and job opportunities - to me, it's sort of like watching an infomercial. I know i'm never going to buy the crap that they sell, but there's something about an Australian guy mopping up spills with his space aged mop that I can't get enough of.

If you've been taken once by one of these "opportunities," it becomes a whole lot easier to spot them. Yup, you guessed it - I once fell for one of these stupid things, here's how it went down:

Spring break of my senior year in college I decided it was time to get my shit together and dedicate myself to job searching outside of the DC area. At the time, I was toying with the idea of moving to Richmond and since I was spending my spring break with friends down there, I thought it would be the perfect time to see if I could secure some interviews and get my resume out. My area of specialization in college was marketing, and I knew that I wanted to do something within that field, but because Richmond isn't exactly a marketing mecca, I wasn't coming up with much. That's when I came across and advertisment for a marketing company that was seeking "sports minded individuals" to work as associates. I can't remember all of the wording of the ad, but it impressed me and I sent along my resume. A receptionist called a day later to set up an interview for the following week while I was down there...I was stoked.

I showed up to the interview a little early and noticed that others were beginning to file into the waiting area. It didn't take long for me to figure out that they were also being interviewed for the open position. A young woman then emerged from an office and introduced herself as some sort of manager and that she would be interviewing us individually - ok, I thought - no problem. I was one of the first to go and I remember her asking a lot of general questions, but not much of anything about my educational background or my previous work experiences. The conversation was mostly based on if I enjoy working in a team environment and how comfortable I am in speaking with others. I should have known that this was going nowhere and if I could go back and change the events of that day, I would have calmly walked out of there when she was done with her interview, but as asked, I stayed.

After everyone else finished up their interviews, another office door opened up and we got to meet the rest of the employees. Mostly guys in their early 20's, high fiving each other and getting psyched for the day ahead...it was a meathead convention - another sign that I should have run, but didn't. "Great news, you all did very well on your interviews and we'd like you to stay and spend the afternoon shadowing some of our associates." By shadowing, I didn't think they meant going on sales calls throughout the greater Richmond area with some random meathead; not only subjected to his cult like attitude towards his job, but also his terrible driving.

After a morning of smoke and mirrors, I was ready to get to the bottom of whatever the hell this company was doing or selling. The meathead explained that the business was based on going into local businesses and selling credit card processing machines - yup, f*ing credit card machines. Since it was B2B or business to business selling, it wasn't considered door to door (or at least, they didn't have to explain that to us) The hell it wasn't door to door! That afternoon, I spent time with the owners of a seedy car dealership, got chased out of a local grocery store, and stood by as the meathead tried to convince the owner of a crossbow store (yes, I thought I was going to get shot with an arrow) that what they really needed was a new credit card machine. A day of my life, wasted! If I had only pressed them for more information in the interview! But, that's how they get you - they prey on your weaknesses...they could tell I was a college student desperate to find a job before graduation - and they used that to string me along on a horrific day of sales calls.

So there you have it - even a bright, educated girl can get pulled into this kind of crap. Although I lost a day of my life to this bullshit, at least I didn't make an initial investment or lose my life savings in a scheme to make fast, easy money. Yeah - this actually happens all the time.

The bottom line is this - if a product is so great, then you have to wonder why it isn't being sold by reputable establishments and popular retailers. Also, if I had a great product, I wouldn't entrust a bunch of inexperienced (remember: no experience necessary!) rejects to go out and sell whatever the product is. These companies prey on weaknesses and then try to instill confidence by giving testimonials of people who have "changed their lives" using the simple system that requires only minimal expense to setup.

While they're a nuisance to hardworking people who really want or need to make some money, they're also pretty fascinating in the language they use and entertaining if you have the ability to see through it.