An Open Letter to the American University Board of Trustees

Re: Ben Ladner's severence package (a.k.a. the platnum parachute)

Dear Board Members (or what's left of you):

Your recent decision to award former AU President Ben Ladner a severence package in excess of $3 million dollars has left students, professors and alumni outraged. While it appears that your decision will stand, I would like to offer a simple suggestion which I feel will ease some of the bitterness on behalf of all parties involved.

I propose that you pay Ladner in the true currency of American University, EagleBucks. While Ladner was busy travelling abroad and hosting lavish dinner parties at AU's expense; I feel that he may have missed out on some delicious food and good times at the Terrace Dining Hall. Providing him with $3 million worth of EagleBucks will surely allow him to catch up on all he's missed on campus in the last 11 years.

As a recent graduate of AU's Kogod School of Business, I can assure you that this proposal makes sound fiscal sense. The money paid to Ladner will be reinvested in the AU community in the form of Jamba Juice smoothies; Subway Sandwiches; AU bookstore merchandise and many other on-campus venues. It will also benefit the local economy, as many stores in the surrounding Tenleytown area have agreed to accept Eaglebucks.

In fact, I would like to help the board implement this solution. I am hereby offering my expert consulting services, which I will provide to you at a bare minimum of expense. I only ask that you allow me to draft the terms of our agreement. I'm not very experienced at writing documents of this nature, but i'm sure that I could use Ladner's renegotiated contract as a blueprint.

I will eagerly await your response.

Kind Regards,
Chrissy- Class of '05
"Once an Eagle, always an eagle..."

Redskins Fans Cash in on Papa John's

The Redskins haven't been doing that well recently, and Papa John's knows it. Why else would they offer a free pizza topping for every touchdown the Skins score? Not only that, but this season they decided to double their offer.

After the Skins crushed the 49ers this weekend all the fat, sloppy, and cheap bastards in the DC Metro area can receive as many as 14 toppings on their grease pies...oh, and don't think they won't do it. According to the WaPo article (click title for link), Papa John's was slammed with business last night.

I was at FedEx field for the game; not as a fan, but working the "dream seats" handing out complimentary refreshments to the patrons in the front two rows. One would assume that because these seats are so expensive, they would be occupied by corporate types...that was not so much the case. After one dream-seater had me flag down a beer vendor from the top of the section and grab him and his fellow sloths a round of beers, he neither gave thanks nor tip....lesson learned- let the slob get his own damn beer.

To all the Papa John's employees, I feel your pain...Hope you made off with better tips for delivering 14 topping pizzas than I did getting beers for these ingrates.

Death Cab @ 9:30 Club

For the past couple of months i've been listing various concerts in the "Concerts to Attend" section of my sidebar, but I haven't made it to a single one. It's dissapointing because i've missed some great shows including The Decemberists and The Fruit Bats which is altogether sad. Last night, I finally got over to the 9:30 Club for the Death Cab show, and I wasn't dissapointed.

DCist just posted a review of said performance, which I think is right on for the most part. It's my second time seeing DCFC, and while they pretty much just played their songs and kept the theatrics to a minimum, it's awesome to hear them live and see Ben Gibbard strumming away. For those of you who are interested, NPR will be airing their second night at 9:30 Club (scheduled tonight) on live streaming audio as part of their "All Songs Considered" segment.

Last night, as Ben Gibbard was thanking the crowd for coming out, he mentioned that "The 930 Club is truly one of the greatest concert venues in the country." This isn't the first time that i've heard a band/singer say this about the club, and I really think that they mean it. Lives shows there are amazing, intimate, and f-ing rockin' so if you haven't had a chance to catch a live show, I highly recommend it.

Waking Up With the King

Ok, so Burger King is trying to get the word out about their breakfast sandwiches and they end up hiring an ad agency that creates the scariest fast food icon i've ever seen!

Breakfast with the King? Hell no! If I saw this plastic faced, perma-grinned freak either outside my window at 6:00am or rolled over to find him in bed next to me (have you seen the ads?), I ceratinly wouldn't go running for a bacon egg'n cheese (note: I think the bacon egg'n cheese is on the McD's breakfast menu, which is why BK needs to get on the ball with this one.)

I'm hoping that "The King" icon doesn't become synonomous with Burger King. For instance, whenever I see Little Caesar's pizza, I always think of that puppet going "Pizza, Pizza!" I can only hope that The King slowly dissapears and is forgotten; much like that damn Taco Bell chiuaua.

The 5 Most Embarrassing Songs On My iPod

Let's be honest, everyone has a couple albums in their music collection that they'd just as soon hide under the bed or deny ownership of. I certainly have my fair share, as i'm sure a lot of people do.

I thought it would be fun to compile a list of the songs (on my iPod) that i'm most embarrassed to have and the cheesy reasons that I have them.

In no particular order:
1) Natalie Imbruglia- "Troubled by the way we came together"- One summer I decided that it was a good idea to paint Maria's kitchen. I needed some music to get me through this project and a tape of the soundtrack from the movie "Go" was the only thing I had. This song was on that tape, and i've secretly loved it ever since.

2) Jim Croce- "Time in a Bottle"- There are plenty of songs that are far worse than this one. I was watching a documentary on Jim Croce (which may be the awful part of this) and they had this really cool montage of his life with this song in the background and I was a little touched by it...i'll be honest.

3) Freedy Johnston- "Bad Reputation"- After not hearing this song for at least 10 years, I woke up one morning and it was in my head. I kept humming it all day long, and finally put it on my iPod hoping to get it out of my system. I also learned how to play the song on the guitar (becauase the chords are easy...I swear!)

4) Don Henley- "The Heart of the Matter"- I'm not even going to try to play this one off. I'm a huge Don Henley fan...what can I say?

5) Montgomery Gentry- "Something to be Proud of"- I like listening to country music when i'm going on long drives 'cause the songs tell a story and I think that's fun. This one is a bit sentimental in that good 'ole boy country way. Nonetheless, it's a pretty embarrassing song to be rockin' out to driving down 95.

Ok, so I spilled it. What are your most embarrassing songs?

According to Maddy, I'm an Official Adult

Back in college I remember sitting in TDR (the campus dining hall) with friends, trying to figure out at what point someone enters into true adulthood. According to Maddy, this occurs when a person receives their first set of official business cards.

For those that morphed into adulthood before me, you remember what it felt like. Looking at that shiny card with your name and title on it for the first time and realizing that 1) they actually spelled your name right (or perhaps they didn't) and 2) You have a title which people may refer to you as and it doesn't include the words idiot or jackass.

At least this is the emotional process that i'm going through at this very moment as I stare down at my name in small print. Not exactly the big print that I had envisioned in my dreams (insert cheesy music and daydreamy look here).

Sigh...now in true adult fashion i'm going downtown to engage in battle with the DC DMV where I will turn in my coveted New Jersey license...the last true administrative link that ties me to the Garden State. Sad times....

The Many Faces of the Family Feud

In1durland's comment in response to the Plinko post really got me thinking about game shows that I watched as a kid. Thanks to the Game Show Network, reruns of these shows are now available 24/7.

Has anyone ever seen reruns of the original Family Feud? I'm not talking about when Ray Combs (pictured above) was the host. Nah, I'm talkin' about that skeezy Richard Dawson...you know, the one who would welcome women contestants by kissing them smack on the lips! I guess it was just a different time...

Ray Combs was my favorite host. He didn't sexually harass the contestants; his voice didn't make me want to eat poison (ahem...Louie Anderson); and he wasn't well known from another sitcom (Richard Karn). Sigh...it's a real shame that he died in 1996, and they brought that awful Richard Dawson back, although I don't think he was allowed to kiss the girls anymore.

Oh, and as I was trying to find a clip of the woman falling down the Plinko stairs (which I subsequently did not come across), I came across this site with plenty of The Price is Right bloopers.

Phat Phree's Plinko Article is Histerical

My favorite Plinko moment was when this one old fart got overexcited and actually fell down the Plinko stairs, landing square at Bob Barkers feet. Had I not been home sick from school, I may have missed that gem in gameshow history. Although they stopped doing the Plinko game on "The Price is Right" for a solid year after that little number.

Check out the Phat Phree Article!

The Snakehead Fish is Baaaaack...

Ok, first things first- i've been horrible about posting to this blog lately and to my loyal readers, I apologize. I've been busy gathering my acorns for winter...

In other news, the Snakehead Fish is back with a vengeance. There are few things that scare me more than knowing there is a fish that can "walk" on land, has no natural predators, and could pretty much destroy an entire ecosystem.

What sparked my interest in the WaPo article however, was the fact that seasoned fisherman briefly mistook the Snakehead for a harmless Bass!! I believe this is why I shy away from fishing. I have no idea what i'm catching and I can totally see myself thinking I "caught a delicious bass" when moments later I open my cooler and the damn Snakehead jumps out and starts doing showgirl kicks like the freaking Rockettes!

Maybe i'm taking this a little far, but the damn things are multiplying like gremlins....ahhhh!