Critics

I often wonder what it's like to be a critic. Book critic, film critic, food critic...etc, etc. What exactly are the prerequisites for being a critic? I'm thinking about this because prior to leaving for the holidays, I was checking out book reviews so that I would have plenty to read on the plane. In my rush to get an interesting book (at the airport), I failed to acknowledge the fact that nobody in their right mind would put a bad review on the books website, or on the front cover for that matter. Shame on me.

I chose the book "Prep" by Curtis Sittenfeld because I went to a private boarding school, and was interested to see if I could relate to any of the experiences in the novel, but also because it was on the New York Times Bestseller list. I haven't been all that dissapointed with the NYT list, so I decided to go with this one.

A book critic from the Boston globe is qouted on the front cover of the book saying "Prep may be as addictive as M&M's, but it's also a tart and complex tale of social class, race, and gender politics." What the hell is that?! "Addictive as M&M's??" No offense, but after an intense bout of flu; M&M's make me want to hurl, and so does all this critic shit. I've been noticing it more and more recently. Look, if a band has an incredible debut album, and then shits the bed on their second release - don't candy coat it by telling us that the band is "maturing" just tell us that the album sucks...sheesh

I guess a career of pulling euphemistic shit out of my ass wouldn't be all that bad, and in that respect - i'm a little envious of critics. If I ever do get around to writing a novel and the cover is graced with some pathetic critic bullshit, you have my permission to smack me directly in the face.

Other than that, the book was pretty good. End rant.

Best of 2005!

The end of the year is famous for a lot of things (most notably, the holidays), but there's also an abundance of amusing "Top ___ of 2005" lists that are all over the newspapers and magazines. In the spirit of wrapping up the year, I thought i'd put together a list of Chrissy's Best of 2005:

• Graduating College.
• Landing my first "full-time" salaried job AND finally getting some freaking decent health benefits.
• Buying a Jeep Wrangler after spending countless years lusting after one.
• Finally letting go of some old baggage (figuratively and literally).

This is by no means all inclusive, but that's pretty damn fantastic for a year in the life. Not to say that nothing bad happened...but that's a whole other list, let's try and stay positive shall we?

Here are a couple of things i'd like to get done in the New Year. I'll keep you posted on my progress...

• Find a swanky new [and affordable] place to live and outfit it with cool stuff that isn't from the side of the road. For starters, a place that has heat in the winter.
• Pay off my credit card! (I'm getting there...slowly)
• Write more (in my blog, in my journal, submit articles to local publications, etc. etc.)
• Take a freaking vacation or do something relaxing FOR MYSELF! If you think this is a selfish statement - then you probably don't know me that well.

Alright, i'm going to keep the list to that. I could contine, but I don't want to get overwhelmed before the year even hits!

Google Earth is Effing Amazing

Google Earth isn't exactly anything new. A couple months ago I had trouble downloading the software it requires and I sort of gave up after that one failed attempt. In my boredom yesterday, I decided to try it again, and what resulted was the warping of my fragile mind...this thing is awesome!

It combines satellite imagery and maps to give a complete geographic depiction of a specific location (excuse me while I go put some more tape on my glasses)....

You may be saying to yourself "ok, it's a map...I get it," but allow me to explain why I think this is one of the greatest things i've discovered recently-

I grew up in a suburban neighborhood with beautifully manicured lawns, tree lined streets, and plenty of open space to run around (*sigh*). However, my family is huge (i'm the youngest of 8) so we had to cut some corners in order to keep food on the table. One of the corners that we cut was in the lawn care department. Basically, one of us was in charge of mowing the lawn once in awhile, and that was it. No watering the grass - nothing. Needless to say, our lawn was a decaying patch of brown straw.

So once I had zoomed into my street using Google Earth, I was trying to count the houses in order to locate mine. All the sudden, I see this big brown patch in the midst of a green sea - and it was my house! The images are so accurate, that you can tell how god awful our lawn is from satellites in space!

Download it...now....GO!

Alaska or Bust

(My neices Trick or Treating this past Halloween...yeah, that's snow on the ground)

Call me crazy - everyone else does! But seriously, i'm travelling to Fairbanks, Alaska to visit with my sister and her kids for Christmas. You think it's cold in DC now? Nah, let me tell you...this is nothing. When I stepped out of the Fairbanks airport last year (this Christmas will be my 3rd trip) it was -35 degrees outside. My tearducts froze; my nose froze; and my lungs seized momentarily from the cold.

Despite all that, Alaska is without a doubt one of the most beautiful places i've ever visited. Winter wonderland doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm also looking forward to a much needed vacation, and the thought of being thousands of miles away for a little bit is what's keeping me going right now.

Seasons Greetings to You...

Dear DCent Readers,

As I was making my Chrismukkah card list last night (OY JOY!), I thought it would be appropriate to thank all of you for your continued support and readership of my 'lil 'ole blog throughout the past year.

I hope that it's been as fun and interesting for you to read as it's been for me to write. With that said, you'll notice that the comments are now open to everyone (thanks to Aimee for pointing that out), so feel free to comment on anything you feel or offer suggestions on what you would like to see in the future!

I've asked Santa to bring me a digital camera, so hopefully you'll be seeing some Flickr images and photo sharing available soon.

Finally, i'd like to give special thanks to KOB and the Crew over at DC Blogs for their mentions of DCent; the staff of DCist for keeping me up to date with the DC scene; and all the crazy characters in this city that offer constant fodder for posts!

Happy Holidays!

~Chrissy

Moon Boots are Back - Thanks Napoleon

That's right folks! As the winter weather sets in throughout the DC Metro region, commuters are setting aside their summer flips-flops for those early morning walks to the office, and puttin' on their moon boots!

I witnessed this first-hand this morning while walking to the metro (sadly, I was not wearing moon boots). The best part was that I had my iPod going through my playlist, and at the EXACT moment I saw a woman wearing moon boots (which incidentally looked exactly like the above picture), my iPod started playing Jamiriqui's "Canned Heat"....

Flippin' Sweet! Needless to say, I was laughing my ass off. Not a bad way to start off the day...gosh!

Love @ the Lube

I suppose there's something inherently sexual about Jiffy Lube -overheated engines, hot oil....LUBE!

For the second time (in less two years), someone tried to pick me up as I was waiting for my car at the Wheaton Jiffy Lube. Now, i've only been to this particular location twice, so that means i'm 2 for 2 in the pick-up department. What gives?

My first encounter happened about two years ago. I was taking Maria's car for an oil change since she was gracious enough to let me borrow it for a trip to NJ. My friendship with Maria is based on an unspoken system of reciprocity - she cooks, I clean...she loans me her car, I get the oil changed...you get the idea.

So, I pull her car up to the Jiffy Lube and this young mechanic comes walking towards me. At the time, I wasn't familiar with the Jiffy Lube protocol, so I rolled down the window to see what he needed me to do. "You old enough to drive that car?" I didn't really know how to respond to this, but I could see from his goofy smile that he was making an attempt to joke with me. I continue to stare as he follows up with "That's a nice car for a kid like you, whad'ya do...steal it?"

Being from NJ, i'm predisposed to wise-ass comments...I honestly can't help it..so I reply "Yup, just stole it...I always get the oil changed before I make my getaway..." Now, what really threw me off was the fact that the guy couldn't have been any older than I was at the time...but he kept making comments about my age!! As I went up to pay, he says: "so honestly, what are you...like 12?" Then, he proceeds to ask me if i'd go out with him sometime! It was the weirdest pick-up...ever. I declined, and mentioned that he shouldn't be asking 12 year olds out on dates and got the hellll out of there. So confusing...it wasn't until I was a couple miles up the road that I realized he had stolen my lighter!

I returned to the same Jiffy Lube this weekend to get my Jeep checked up before winter hits. This time, everything went smoothly until I was getting back into my car to leave...that's when this man comes jogging over from the car wash next door and stops me as i'm getting into my car. Unlike the mechanic from the previous year, he begins with flattery: " I just wanted to say that you look really nice." Ok folks - let me just mention that I rolled out of bed, threw on some sweatpants and drove over to The Lube...however, flattery is always nice - even if it's totally false. I thanked him very kindly for his compliment (knowing full well what he was up to), and turned to leave. "Uh, I was also wondering if you would like to join me for a drink." I declined (again, very nicely) as he resorted to "what, you don't like to go to the clubs and dance?" I said that I wasn't particularly interested in dancing at any club and left.

They put a handy little sticker on my windshield stating that I have to return in 4 months to get my oil changed again. Will I be 3 for 3? I'll have to keep you posted on that.

The Dangers of "Reply All"

From Wikipedia: "Reply all is a term used in email. It refers to sending a reply message not only to an email's original author, but also to any other recipients that were listed the original To or Cc lists. This is often a dangerous proposition, especially when the list of recipients is long, as comments may be passed onto unintended recipients."

Right, i'm sure you all know what "Reply All" is, but i'd like to stress that hitting this button can lead to embarrassing, comical or downright stressful situations. This morning I was the recipient of a "Reply All" that was only intended for me and accidentally got sent to the entire company. Thankfully it fell into the "comical/embarrassing" category. Embarrassing because it was an email praising me for a job well done (for a task that wasn't a big deal) and comical because my coworkers decided to mock me for it (all in good humor). At least i've gotten a few laughs out of it this morning!

It's a great thing when you can sit back and laugh at yourself. It's not even noon yet and i've had a couple laughs at my own expense. I just caught a glimpse of my hair in the reflection of the window and I have a massive cow-lick. You know, the kind that your mother would lick her hand and try to smash back down with the rest of your hair. It looks something like this:

That's right...all I need is a missing tooth and some suspenders and you wouldn't know the different between Alfalfa and myself. I've gotta go do something about this...

"Hey, at least it's not West Virginia"

"New Jersey, long trying to overcome its reputation for mobsters, air-choking traffic and toxic waste dumps, asked the public for a new image-boosting slogan and found some of its people share the same sardonic outlook as its detractors."

...I had to follow up my previous NJ post with this. The Daily Show aired a segment on NJ's slogan search recently and I find the whole thing incredibly amusing.

I remember in 4th grade they made us memorize all this useless information about NJ. When DC mayoral candidate Adrian Fenty asked me what DC Ward I lived in so he could send me information about his campaign, I just stared at him...but, I can still recite all the counties in NJ (in alphabetical order)! I guess that's what Catholic School will do to you...

I'm still trying to think of a zinger to send in to Gov. Codey...but for now, i'll have to agree with "Hey, at least it's not West Virginia!"